So I met this old man on the train on the way to my cousins'. He sat down next to me and started talking to me. At first I was a little annoyed. Couldn't he see that I was reading? I needed this time on the train to get some work done. After about half an hour of answering his questions with the briefest possible answers, I realized what a bitch I was being. Here was this nice old man, clearly lonely, who probably thought that I looked a little lonely too. So I started talking to him. He told me about his five daughters and I told him about college. He told me about his wife, who passed away, and how they had been married for over 50 years. I told him about how much I love my first real autumn. Right before he dropped off to nap he told me something that I've been thinking about all day. He looked out the window, and then at me and said, "and now I have only my memories". I said I hoped they were good ones, he smiled and said that yes, he had wonderful memories. As he slept next to me I watched the towns fly past and I thought about how I am at the beginning, really, of my life. Sometimes, I feel as if all I have are dreams. Sitting next to this man, who has experienced so much, I felt so young suddenly. I felt like I wanted to hear everything he has to say, in the hope that I could learn from this person who lived in love with a woman for so long, who put 5 girls through college, who had read to his 13 grandchildren. I felt this intense hope that I will one day be able to say that my head is entirely full of good memories. When we got to our station I got down his suitcase for him and wished him a Happy Thanksgiving, he told me he thought that I was going to do very well for myself, and he said he hoped that I would find someone worthy of spending 50 years with me. I told him I think I maybe have. And then, we walked off the train and I will never see him again.

      I thought about what he said some more, as I half dozed in the backseat of my cousins' car. It came to me that while I have a lot of dreams, I also have a lot of memories, and a lot of current moments. I am profoundly thankful for these things.

    I am thankful for my dreams. I have these crazy thoughts for the future and about how great I think it can be. I have been allowed, encouraged, to dream. I am thankful that I have people to dream for and with. In our entire conversation, he did not once mention what he had done for a living. I've realized that my dreams are much bigger than any particular career. I dream of being able to help people, of being able to love people, and of making the people I love proud of me. These things seem to be the sum total of his good memories, and I think they constitute a pretty damn fine life.

  I am thankful for my memories. These memories are proof that the things I dream of are worth hoping for. My head is full of thoughts of all the people I have known. Of the bright and beautiful girls I was privileged to grow up with. Of the "nerds" who taught me to accept and be myself. Of the school and teachers who guided me. Of all of my departed family whose love has stayed with me. Of this strange, fey little girl who has grown up into the young woman I am now.

  I am thankful for the things I have now. My parents, who still manage to be the best parents ever from 3,000 miles away. My school which is everything and more than I wanted, and which is making me, sometimes painfully, into a more thoughtful person. My old friends and my new Barnard sisters, who have kept home in my heart and made room in my heart for a new home. The autumn leaves and the chill wind, which remind me that yes, life keeps on going. My family back in L.A., whom I want to make proud. My family here, who met me at the station, cooked me food, and made me feel like I was home. The person who has captured my heart and broken down what I hope are the last barriers to really loving myself.

  I hope you all have a lot to be thankful for.

Reply and I'll give you a letter. Find five songs that start with that letter and post them to your journal.

So Gaby gave me M:

Ma' Africa- 1Giant Leap
Maahi Ve- Kal Ho Naa Ho
Moondance- Van Morrison
Miracle of Miracles- Fiddler on the Roof
My Heart, My Life- Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan

The next I decide to practice for modern dance, remind me to stretch first. My hamstring is in agony right now because I didn't stretch before choreographing my movements. Also, why does Ms. R think I'm remotely capable of choreographing. I look like a demented, electrocuted stork.

Its late and I'm super bored. So what better way to waste my time than by listening to "Misery" by the Beatles over and over b/c there's this one part when John Lennon sounds like Sean Connery.